And just to confuse things, nowadays schoolchildren in Canada (and maybe the USA?) I dont think its accurate to describe that as an echo chamber unless its your sole source of news or information about the world, which doesnt seem to be the case at all. Whatever your answer is, I hope we can continue our friendship and hikes without too much awkwardness. She did not do anything wrong by talking with her coworker. Severed ties with an ex who wouldnt go away? Right now is /not/ a good time to ask someone to dinner. Valar morgulis and all that. An important note here is that hes says hes being feeling this way for three years. When I was 21 I was too mature to be into blackout drinking or bluffing my way through a job interview or a lot of other things that 21-year-olds are sometimes convinced they can handle, but I was not that mature about everything. But either way, a self-assessment is probably not a particularly reliable gauge. It works for us. It is certainly not ageism. People tell me frequently that they think I am in my late twenties or early thirties because I present myself in a more formal / structured manner.. In any case, your wife now has the advantage of knowing what her manager thinks of her, when previously she didnt, and thats useful. Yes, thank you. As someone who dated an older co-worker when she was 25 and he was 43, I'd caution you. Im a bit older than his supervisor here, and if one of my 15-year-junior employees indicated an interest in me, Id likely be some mix of mildly flattered, amused, and baffled but mostly creeped out. Like, of course he is hanging around like that, he is a puppy dog or no wonder she does not talk much, she is a cat. Once I realized it wasnt an adjective, but a separate clause and verb, it finally made sense. Having a so-called "crush" on another person should be harmless. Im so glad to find out about that company! People have relationships with a gap that big. I think she just means that to Americans a personal diary would be called a journal. Sounds like the word has dual usage in British English, but it needed to be clarified for US and other readers who dont have both meanings for it. It turned out, they originally told the unemployment office it was due to misconduct and later changed it to employee performance. He submitted online anyways, but also sent a written appeal by certified mail so that he had proof they received it by the deadline. 19 FAQs About Having a Crush: Signs, What to Do, More Tips - Healthline Does he have any more oats to sow or anything like that? Well it wasnt about the ad itself but rather the quantity and general obtrusiveness of all of them. Yes, I thought it was just me until I compared notes with a friend who was also online dating and she had exactly the same thing, an inundation of men in their 50s who wanted to date much younger and got annoyed when they were told no. I feel like a hypocrite on this one because the person I am interested in is.uh, younger, albeit not 21 younger (thank god), but I also hate age differences. Eh, this generalization always drives me crazy. I did very little over my break. A diary is a book, where youd write in your appointments and tasks and reminders for each day. Focusing on a justification like that could be a sign of not being mature. They are both adults over 18, it is all that matters. Knowing that OP has romantic interest might make change her perception of their working and non-working relationship, and what it might look like from the outside. ), this is not the same. Of course maybe she just likes hiking. Even if she is interested in you that way, she might be worried about what people at work would think (and with good reason), not want to be seen as a cougar or cradlesnatcher even if you dont think of her that way, others will, and it not only sucks, it could risk her work reputation. This isnt the type of answer you were looking for, but yeah, I dont think you should ask her out yet. But they keep the hope alive a long time. Same situation here. He was 81, but was otherwise in reasonably good health so it was still quite a shock. One thing Ive seen over the years is that many people are very very bad at estimating peoples ages. But if it means that LW needs to continue having the same warm relationship with her outside of work, I dont think thats reasonable. Its fine for them to have a friendly working relationship, but Im getting the icks from this. LW mentioned not getting ahold of UI. A place where someone keeps all their work notes, assuming that it will be confidential. But when youre making romantic decisions you need to park public opinion and think about whats good for you. I work in an extremely male-dominated environment, I started in the industry before leaving high school. After Women's World Cup. I think its also possible that LW is reading too deeply into what people say offhand (as we all do from time to time). She has Company A and they billed Company B. When I was a teen lots of people told me I was mature for my age. Being a tour guide involved quite a bit of waiting around between tours and so we had some nice conversations. I think sometimes I forget that other people out there are trying to follow the rules as so many here arent. A woman aged in her 40s has been arrested on suspicion of causing death by dangerous driving and remains in custody. Id use diary to mean a book with days of the week where Id write in my appointments, birthdays etc, but Id also use diary to mean personal and private journal. I had a thing with about the same ages as in the LWs case, with me the younger half. In fact, your coworker may feel so comfortable around you due to this large age gap because she assumes theres no way there could be anything romantic between you and is able to freely enjoy a purely platonic relationship. Take it one day at a time and if it makes you happy and isnt hurting anyone, who cares! Its a completely different process than UI and a traditional court system. I agree. Optics are important. Adding the extra complication of working in the same environment doesnt make things any easier. This is my favorite meme about Insurance Prior Authorizations Its one of those things, like being well-spoken or attractive or charismatic, that really exists in the eye of the beholder. #3, nobody wanted to talk about their break much today, even the ones who HAVE their families in the house. Something to think about when measuring the pros and cons. Is it possible something like that is happening? There are people who think dating a 21 year old is nuts when youre in your mid thirties/A 21 year old wouldnt be interested anyway, so clearly all activities are platonic! I suspect (both from your thorough description of your relationship and from my own experience with long-term crushes) that if those things were happening, youd have noticed and mentioned them. Hobbies. a 31 year old and a 40 year old) but Ive changed so much throughout my 20s that dating someone more than 3 years younger/older would be a bad fit right now. Theres no evidence shes actually interested in the OP beyond conversation and walking. You say that many people feel like you are older than your real age does she actually know how old you are? Her doctors said she has to have 24/7 care and we had to move her so that could happen. When I was 36, 21-year-olds were kids. But if thats all the boss sees, it could erroneously lead to the conclusion that shes goofing off, instead of just not looking busy. If this older woman you like tends to turn every conversation into flirty banter and maintains eye contact with you, it could mean she likes you. Im talking about a discrimination claim. One problem that my husband and I faced early on was that he had already experiencing life stages I was just entering, and he wanted to offer sage advice and save me from myself but. Okay, as someone who is your former managers age, LW1: whats giving me major pause is when you said that youre more mature than a typical 21 year old. It was incredibly frustrating, but I also dont think calling my legislators would have helped. LW4, it doesnt sound right to me that unemployment is asking you to pay more than they gave you. All we know about her is that shes 15 years older than him, that they have had intellectual conversations over the 3+ years theyve known each other through work, and that now that theyre in the same area and shes no longer his supervisor, theyre friendly enough to go for walks together sometimes. I considered myself a bit of an old soul when I was younger just because I enjoyed older movies and books and didnt have the same interests as a lot of people my age. Its quite possible there is sexual chemistry between you and this woman. A medium age gap?) Leaving it open and unattended would be a no-no but I do not think the manager left it open as a test or to intentionally have the employee to read the notes. The first thing your wife needs to do is figure out for herself if there is any truth to the statement. Let alone the fact that I cant see my partner or my friends back in London. The work products may be public, but the client being it OK with it being known that an outsider helped produce it is not the same thing. It can do, yes. winning another . Have small children. Regardless of whether the managers assessment of your wifes work is accurate, this is such bizarre behavior to me that I dont even know what to advise. So far, 2021 is just shaping up to be more of the utter disaster that 2020 was! Im also going to ask Allison to modify her answer a touch. If he makes his feelings known, shes unlikely to be pleased about it. I like my job and most of my coworkers are ok. I had intentions of doing something productive around my house during my two weeks off, but I ended up just catching up on sleep and tv shows. OP3, Im in the UK too, and also had a horrible Christmas break- not just with the last minute change to restrictions, but with an appalling non-covid related tragedy in the family on NYE. Im with you on this. I am confused because what all the Brits are saying here (a diary is place you write appointments or a record of private thoughts) is the same to me as what Alison wrote. These guys are smarter, richer, better looking, better in bed, and better able to entertain you, know how to treat you. Do you know the brain doesnt finish developing until the age of 25? You may have to contact individuals separately (the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, etc) but the hospital may be willing to do it for you, or at least advise you on how to approach it. I am a 53-year-old woman. Ive never worked directly for them but Ive worked on several Gates-funded projects.) Indeed. Explain the situation and ask to set up a payment plan, most hospitals will do this. Do you never have non-work conversations with your coworkers youre stuck with 8+ hours a day? Because of my personal night-hike-with-coworkers background, this doesnt feel especially off for me, since its possible these folks have a similar situation. (There may be states that are exceptions to this, but Ive recommended it to a lot of people recently who had had trouble getting through to unemployment and theyve all gotten help. Ive got to say that Im not a big fan of Alisons answer for this particular question. Ah, that makes more sense. 0:04. But if shes not in your chain of command and there would be no appearance of impropriety (or actual impropriety) well, what kind of vibe are you getting from her? Goodness yes. People arent pushing for more details as lots of people had breaks that were pretty rubbish this year- hopefully something along those lines works for you too. Im not going out there with anyone who I think could potentially have reasons to hit on me while Im in a remote location when I have no idea how they will take rejection! Yup! It sounds to me like youre solidly friends, but Im not seeing you say that you mutually flirt, that you have emotionally intimate conversations, that you compliment each other frequently, or that there are any other clear signs that your feelings are returned. Its pretty hard to avoid catching stuff like that, especially if youre a quick reader. Unfortunately, I think some of them keep a list. Agreed. (Im an MD and thus complicit in this mess). And Im so sorry that you are experiencing the same sort of thing. (Will admit to looking forward to vaccines though if the person asking is friends with me, because that generally ends the conversation on a hope note). Failing to store personal information appropriately is a bigger deal (at least from a legal perspective) than reading something left out in the open, in a space youre expected to enter. Woman and a child remain critically ill after fatal crash at Wimbledon If she understands why her boss has that impression well, its a wake-up call to change that if shes bothered by it. some things you just need to learn for yourself. Youre delightful company, responsible and emotionally intelligent. I dont think that LWs coworker is predatory. So yes, OP, do call your elected official! You keep mentioning help of agency staff and I would agree that if the agence is staffed by compentent people trained and willing to help and who have time to do so, one will probably be just fine without a lawyer, but unfortunately that is not a universal situation, and covid has made things worse. I try not to be overly grinchy about age gaps, but this woman is literally old enough to be his mother (a young mother, but still). I guarantee most of them honestly believed they were 35-year-olds trapped in a 67-year-olds body. A Kentucky man was sentenced to more than six years in prison for trying to arrange the murder of a 14-year-old boy to prevent the teen from testifying . For me, the worrying thing is that they are focusing on the very human desire of impressing others and getting validation that youre doing OK. Thats the whole reason behind why you should not date senior people! Sorry youre going through all that. I got locked down for christmas because people werent following the rules but then they all just went home anyway! I think the bar has to be really high for workplace romances. Not saying any of this judgment is correct, but its going to happen within her own peer group. Having a Crush: Why It's a Joy At Any Age | NextTribe OP #1 you just have to gauge whether the risk is worth it. I was just rereading the letter yesterday with the woman in her 40s flirting with the 18-year-old. How To Handle A Crush When You're Married (And What It Means) Your world becomes even smaller. At least based on what LW1 has said, this is way different from the situation with the 18-year-old intern and the 40ish woman. Oh, I very much disagree with the part about stepping back if shes not interested in dating.
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